I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
