It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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