Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
