I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
