i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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