hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
