Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize