I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
