Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
