Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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