She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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