So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
