the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
