So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
