Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
