I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
