the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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