is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
