Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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