if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
