??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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