What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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