After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
