do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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