Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
