Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize