I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
