remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
