So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize