i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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