OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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