it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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