We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize