Just cropdusted the office
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Randomize
