he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
this just has baby written all over it
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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