He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
