I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
