if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
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