Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
sex in a hospital.. check
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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