I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
there was a trapeze. enough said
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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