I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
