what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You're a waste of cheezeits
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
