in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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