Whatcha textin bout Willis?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Your penis caused this!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
