Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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