You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Randomize
