I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
