I'm jealous of your bromance
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
