I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
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