I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
