it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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