Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
