it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
i think i just lost a toe
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
