he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
