yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Found your dick twin last night
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
