They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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