my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
