she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize