Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
