you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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