Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
