Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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