I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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