Say something about gay babies.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Less talking, more tequila
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
