You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
