Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
