Non-Jews are for practice
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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