I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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